


Finding a Partner

by zimmiebitty (Angelwithwingsoffire)



Series: Soul Words [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Meeting, Misunderstandings, Panic Attacks, Slice of Life, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 18:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13596039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelwithwingsoffire/pseuds/zimmiebitty
Summary: Soulmate AU with your soulmate's first thought on meeting you is written on your skin from birth.Ransom and Holster have spent their whole lives thinking about what it would be like to meeting their soulmate.





	Finding a Partner

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be short 2-3K one shot and it became this.  
> I identify far too much with Justin Oluransi.

Ransom spent most of his life being anxious about who his soulmate was going to be. He was anxious about a lot though, no matter how well he hid it, and he was getting better at coping with it. His soulmark and his future soulmate had always been a source of contention amongst his family. When he was little and his grandmother found out what his mark said, she blamed his mom for it (still being upset that her youngest boy had been soulbonded to a white woman) but she had been forced by her son to get over it or never see her grandchild. Ransom was glad she had, because he couldn’t imagine his life without her, but he hated the tension at every family gathering when soulmates were brought up. He still wore high necked shirts when she was around so as to keep the peace of his family.

High school was the worst time for Ransom, then still called Justin (or Ranster if you were his teammate). Justin had his first panic attack sophomore year when he found out that his mom’s mom, the grandmother he was super close to, was being rushed to the hospital after having a stroke. After that it seemed like some sort of dam had snapped and he was flooded with anxiety. His second panic attack was when he overheard his parents trying to figure out how they were going to send him to college. He was exceptionally smart and applying to the best colleges in America, a degree which would mean more in more places, but they were terrified of how they were going to pay for it all. That night Justin promised himself that even if he got into his top choice, he wouldn’t go if he didn’t get the scholarships to pay for it. He didn’t want to put that sort of stress on his parents.

As senior year passed, Justin got more and more anxious to hear back from the colleges he had applied to. All of his friends on the hockey team had already heard back from and been accepted by their top choices and he didn’t want to be the odd one out. He was also anxious about finding his soulmate. His d-man partner for the last three years had just found out that the girl he was into and had been for months was his soulmate and the dude was ecstatic. They were both going to the university in Ontario so they were already planning their lives together. And Justin had nothing. He knew what his soulmate was going to think of him when they first met, had known since birth, but he was still anxious. Jonesy, his partner, found it to be completely stupid because he had proof on his skin that his soulmate thought he was attractive and as far as Jonesy was concerned that was all that mattered. That wasn’t what mattered to Ransom. He know he looked good. He played hockey, followed a diet plan, and worked out because he liked the burn of his muscles. But he didn’t know that his soulmate was actually going to like _him_ instead of his body. And that was terrifying for Justin. He wanted someone to love him for who he was, not how he looked, and the idea of not getting that was enough to make him anxious. He logically knew that it was his soulmate, the one he was destined to have in his life, and they were probably going to love him just fine, but that idea was terrifying.

The third panic attack he had in his life was after getting the best news of his life. He’d been accepted into Samwell and, due to his hockey scholarship and merit scholarships, would be able to attend without breaking his parents’ bank accounts. He would get to attend his top choice school (both because of it’s world-reknowned pre-med program and it’s motto “1 in 4 maybe more” because as much as he hadn’t admitted to anyone else he was definitely open to anyone being his soulmate), and he would get to play with arguably the best NCAA center currently on ice, Jack Zimmermann. Justin was more excited than he expected to be when he got the envelope with all of this information inside, but it immediately had his adrenaline pumping…up until the moment he realized what all of this meant. He was going to one of the best schools in the United States, not in Canada. He needs to get a Visa approved quickly so he can go there. He needs to do well at this school, proving to his parents that he wasn’t insane for going to another country for school. He needs to study hard to do that, but he also has to focus on hockey. He needs to make sure he is an asset to the team. He needs to make sure he doesn’t lose his scholarship. He needs that scholarship to stay at school and prove that it was a good decision to do this. He needs to prove that he’s the perfect son his parents have always desired him to be.

Before Justin knew it he was spiraling down into the pool of anxiety that was always lapping at the edge of his consciousness. He found himself in his room, sitting on the floor, breathing hard and trying to control it so he didn’t start to cry. He’d only cried during his first panic attack and his eyes had gotten so puffy his mom had immediately recognized that he’d been crying and he didn’t want to deal with the questions right now. He wanted to calm down and be okay and prove to himself that he was strong enough to do it. He wanted to be strong enough to deal with college and hockey at once. He needed to be strong enough to deal with the mere idea of college. If just the idea of it was doing this to him, he was terrified to see what was going to happen when he was actually in school. He was going to get to his first quiz, look at the paper, and burst into tears, wasn’t he? He was going to flunk out of college before he even got to step foot on the ice for a game with his new team. He was going to disappoint everyone in his life. That’s all he was good at. All he was good for. All he could ever-

A phone ringing startled Justin out of his mind, forcing him to pay attention to the world again. He found his cell phone making noise on the floor next to his thigh, an unknown number calling him.

“Hello?” Justin answered shakily.

“Is this Justin Oluransi?” A voice said on the other side. It was clearly male and clearly Canadian but Justin didn’t recognize it.

“Yes…” Justin answered cautiously.

“My name is Jack Zimmermann.” The voice told him. “I’m the captain for next year at Samwell and I wanted to call you and see if you had any questions. The tracking number said your package arrived yesterday.”

“I got it today.” Justin managed to say, stunned by the fact that Jack Zimmermann was currently on the phone with him.

“Oh.” Jack said. “Well I hope you’ve at least opened it so I’m not surprising you?”

“I just read it.”

“Well that’s good. So you know you’re being offered a position on the team?”

“Yea.”

Jack was silent for a second, seeming awkward in response to Justin’s short responses. “Did you have any questions?”

“I-I’m still stunned.” Justin admitted.

Jack chuckled. “Well, to be honest I’d love it if you joined the team.” Jack told him. “You’re a damn good player with a lot of skill that could easily be brought to life on this team. That and we need more Canadians, the only one besides me is graduating this year and I don’t want to be lonely with the Americans.”

That made Justin laughed and he could hear Jack sigh with relief. “I’ll consider that in my decision.” Justin promised.

“You do that.” Jack laughed. “And if you do end up having any questions or anything you can text or call me at this number. It’s international so regardless of where I am you’ll be able to reach me.”

“Thank you.” Justin smiled. He had Jack Zimmermann’s personal number.

“If you sign with us, you’re immediately a part of this team.” Jack told him. “And on this team we always have each others’ backs. No matter what that means at that moment.”

“Thank you.” Justin repeated. Talking to Jack was making his anxiety about this school melt away. It would be hard, going to Samwell, but it might also be worth it. Being on this team, a team where the future captain is calling the recruits, might be worth it all. (Justin didn’t know it then but that future captain was going to be an important figure in his life from that moment on.) And hey, maybe he’d get to meet his soulmate there and finally find out if he was destined for happiness like his mom had always said.

***

Holster had been excited to meet his soulmate ever since he could understand what a soulmate was. The idea that there was someone out there destined to be with him, either romantically or platonically, was amazing to him. When he was still Adam and small enough to sit on his grandmother’s lap she would tell him stories of soulmates. Romantic stories mostly, finding your soulmate during a time of stress or tragedy, and growing happy again with them at your side. Sometimes it was a sad story, finding your soulmate only to lose them to tragedy, but his grandmother always told him that he wouldn’t experience that so long as he was a good person. Only bad people lose their soulmates so soon after finding them. Adam’s soulmark was along his collarbone and his grandmother always told him that having it there meant that Adam was meant to love his soulmate openly and happily, just as openly as he bore his mark on his collar. His mother scolded her mother when she said that, saying with as crude of a mark as her son had she expected him to keep it covered, but his grandmother just rolled her eyes. She had raised her daughter to believe in soulmarks but her time as a psychologist, helping people recover from the loss of their soulmates, had made her bitter. Adam chose to believe his grandmother in his heart but to please his mother he wore shirts with high enough collars to cover his mark. He was constantly looking forward to being out of the house so he could uncover it again and reveal the first thought his soulmate would have upon meeting him. He’d always been proud of it, knowing that his soulmate would like him on sight. He knew some people with insults on their skin, their soulmate’s first impression of them not being the best. But Adam was lucky, he had a compliment and he loved it. He got chirped for it all the time, but he never let it bother him. He loved it and he was going to love the shit out of his soulmate one day for it.

The hardest decision Adam ever had to make was deciding to go from playing hockey in the Q to playing in Juniors. He wasn’t going to go to college after he graduated high school, he was going to play hockey. He loved hockey, it had quickly become one of the best parts of his life and he knew in his soul that one day he was going to find his soulmate because of hockey. He thought this was the best way to follow that, spending all of his time with hockey. His parents weren’t stoked but he told them if he didn’t like it in a couple years he could always stop and go to college before he got so old it was weird. They’d finally agreed after that and soon he was traveling the country playing hockey and having a blast.

The easiest decision he ever had to make was when he woke up one day ten hours away from his home and realized that he didn’t want to play in juniors anymore. He missed having a solid home ice, he missed having a solid team that didn’t entirely change every year and a d-man partner that didn’t change every few games, and most of all he missed having somewhere he could call home. So he told his coach and his parents that he was going to college and he started filling out applications the next day. He stuck to colleges in the northeast, wanting to be vaguely closer to his parents and his grandmother who he missed every day.

Months later, after his last season in Juniors was over and he was finally back home in Buffalo, he started getting the letters from colleges. Coming from Juniors, there weren’t many teams that didn’t want him playing with them. He had good grades in high school, helping him get into every college he got a response from. But then, all but one had come and it was time for the waiting game. He was waiting for the response from his top choice college, both for majors and for the team. He wanted to go to Samwell. If he went to Samwell he would be able to graduate with a degree worth more in any field he wanted to go into than at any of the other colleges he applied to and he would get to play defense for the actual best ass in the NCAA. There was no downfall. And with Samwell’s “1 in 4” mentality, it would allow Adam to be comfortable with his soulmate no matter what gender they turned out to be. He doesn’t care, he just wants someone who can make him laugh and doesn’t tease him about the 30 Rock obsession he knows he has. The second one isn’t even a requirement just more of a slight preference than anything else.

And then the letter came in. The letter that was going to decide it all.

“Adam!” His mom, Julie, called from the kitchen, “You have a letter from Samwell!”

Adam, who had been laying in bed trying to decide if he wanted to nap or watch 30 Rock, was no longer tired as he burst from bed and rushed downstairs.

His mom laughed as he took the envelope from his hand quickly ripping it open and pulling out the papers inside. Immediately he had tears in his eyes and streaming down his face.

“Adam?” Julie asked worried to see her son cry. “Adam, is it bad news?”

Adam shook his head slowly. “I got in.” He whispered. “I got in and the hockey team wants me.”

Julie cheered loudly, rushing to hug her son tightly. “Oh baby I’m so happy for you!”

Adam wiped away his tears, grinning as he hugged her back and then pulled away to look at the letter again. “I really got in, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.” Julie laughed. “I’m so proud of you.”

Adam couldn’t believe his luck. He gets to go to Samwell and play hockey and he could feel in his soul that this was going to lead to good things. This was going to be the best four years of his life.

***

“Welcome back to all you upper classmen, you all know what’s coming, and freshmen get ready for the worst two weeks of your life!” A tall man was standing in front of them with a manic grin and a very loud voice. “My name is Osprey, the senior defenseman and this is my partner Hawkeye.”

The other man grinned and jumped in. “We re the alternate Captains for this season and are proud to present our illustrious captain with the official best ass in the Jack Zimmermann.”

“You two are losing it.” Jack sighed, pushing off the table behind them and stepping forward. “As they said, my name Is Jack. I’m your Captain for this season.”

“YES YOU ARE YOU FUCKING BEAUT ZIMMERMANN!” A mustatioed man shouted.

“Shitty, you have lost it so sit down.” Jack sighed.

The man just cackled and fell back into his seat.

Jack rolled his eyes and looked back at the team. “As per tradition, we meet as a team without   the coaches before the first practice of the season to go over the rules of this team. The first and most important rule is that no matter what happens on or off this ice, when you are a member of this team you have each others’ backs. This team is made up of your brothers. We are a family. Everything else comes second to that.”

Jack paused to look around the room, smiling as the freshmen in the room visibly relaxed.

“If you have an issue, on the ice or in the classroom, you can talk to any one of us.” Jack said, waving at his alternate’s who both waved in sync. “We’re your captains and we are here to help. Don’t ever forget that and you’re going to do just fine at Samwell.”

“And with that out of the way,” Osprey cheered. “It’s time for us to hand you all over to the coaches and this practice can really begin!”

On cue, Hawkeye yanked the door open, letting the coaches into the room.

Murray and Hall looked at the alternate’s glancing between them and Jack, looking exasperated behind them.

“I don’t want to know.” Murray declared before turning to the team. “Alright everyone listen up. As per usual the first two weeks of practices are going to be Hall and me figuring out who is going to go on each line this year. Lines change throughout the season, but we’ll get them mostly settled now. To do this, our first line is going to be set for the first week while we test freshmen in with our veterans and then we’ll change things up next week and make sure everything gets tried. If that doesn’t make sense, ask a nearby upper classman once we’re done here. For this week’s first line we’re taking the one from last year and filling the empty slots from graduates. So we’re going to have Zimmermann at center, Knight and Jacobs with him. Oscar and Harper you’re on defense and Johnson in goal. Karter you’re in goal for the test team. On test team we’re going to test Transletzer, Rehardal, and Christianson as forwards. Birkholtz and Havlar as defense. Everyone clear? Good. Get to the ice!”

The team cheered loudly, taking up their sticks as they flood down the hall towards the ice. Adam let the team carry him along, down the tunnel and out to the bench. It felt amazing to be part of a solid team again. There was an order and a path and an obvious job to do. Adam loved it and all the feeling. He let the team carry him out to the bench before pushing on to step out onto his new home ice.

“You must be Birkholtz.” A teammate declared, skating up to him. Adam recognized it as Havlar by the number on his chest.

“That I would be.” Adam agreed. “Adam Birkholtz previously called Birker.” Adam recognized this as the moment his first partner on defense was going to reidentify him for his years at Samwell.

“I’m Harley.” The player laughed, putting out his hand. “Welcome to the team…Holster.”

“It’s nice to be here.” Holster laughed, taking the offered hand. “It’s damn nice to be here.”

***

Justin held back slightly as his new team streamed out of the room. He was slightly overwhelmed, from the size of team (bigger than his last one) and from the stress his new alternate captains had just instilled in him. He didn’t really need the reminder that the first semester of college he was going to have to balance his first finals and his first season on the team occurring at the same time. He needed a moment now and was thankful as could be that his coaches hadn’t put him on the first test line so he could take that moment.

“You okay?”

Justin jumped at the voice behind him, turning to see Jack Zimmermann walking up behind him.

“You look shook up.” Jack explained. “You okay?”

“Just…nervous I guess.” Justin shrugged, trying to hide his anxiety. He didn’t need his captain seeing it on the first day of practices.

Jack definitely saw through him, smiling softly. “You’re Oluransi, right?”

Justin nodded.

“Then you know I was serious when I said you could talk to us.” Jack told him. “You’re a part of this team now and that means we’re going to keep you safe, physically and mentally.”

Justin looked away, ashamed to have been seen.

Jack just clapped him on the shoulder and grinned. “You’re a part of this, Ransom.”

Justin’s head shot up, looking at Jack. His captain was nicknaming him.

“Ransom?” Jack repeated.

Justin smiled. “Thank you.” He clapped Jack on the shoulder as well. “Thank you.”

Jack nodded, starting them down the tunnel again. “Play hard and you’re gonna do just fine.”

Ransom took a deep breath as they reached the bench, feeling better again. “Thank you Jack.”

“Not a problem in the world this team won’t help with, Ransom!” Jack jumped onto the ice.

“Ransom?” A player nearby repeated.

“Jack stole naming rights?” Another asked.

“I like it.” Another laughed. “Ransom fits.”

“Welcome to the team.” Someone clapped him on the back.

Ransom could feel himself growing tense again but he was going to be alright. He was going to do well with this team, they were going to help make sure of that.

***

Holster felt like he worked well with Harley, not as well as he wanted for a partner, but not bad. By the time coach called him off the ice, putting the other freshman d-man out on the ice to experiment with Harley.

“Birkholtz!” Murray called. “Come here!”

Holster listened, lopping through the team to get to coach. “What’s up coach?”

“Take a look at the other freshmen out there.” Murray ordered. “He’s going to be your next test partner once he’s done with Havlar. We’ve only got seven defensemen, one of whom is our backup goalie and Oscar and Harper are basically attached at the hip after all this time. They started together freshmen year and we’d really like to get that from you and the other one as well. Havlar and Schmitz work well enough that unless one of you frogs snap a fire with one of them, they’ll be staying together and you’re with the other newbie. Hall and I are just fine with that. From the tapes you two could balance well if we put in the work.”

Holster nodded. “You got it.” Holster turned his attention to the action on the ice. He could see what Murray meant when he said that he and the other freshman could work well together. The dude’s playing style reminded him of his old partner BeeJee. BeeJee was a good balance to Birker’s playing style, which was very aggressive and devil-may-care. Holster was much better now than he used to be, taking time to think before he reacts, but he was still overly aggressive sometimes and it looked like the other freshman was a slightly more aggressive version of BeeJee, taking care to think before reacting but also occasionally just throwing himself into action. They could work.

Before long, Hall was blowing his whistle and action on the ice froze.

“Oluransi off! Schmitz on!” Hall shouted. “Christianson on for Taggart! Five minute test run!”

Holster listened carefully and then turned his attention back to his probable future partner as he headed for the bench.

“Oluransi!” Murray called. “Come here and meet Birkholtz!”

The other player nodded, acknowledging coach as he jumped off the ice and started over. As he moved, he reached up and pulled the helmet off his head, revealing a gorgeous face and an even more beautiful smile. Holster was struck dumb by his beauty.

_“Fuck he’s hot.”_

***

As soon as Ransom heard the whistle blow he scraped to a stop, turning to listen to the coach speaking.

“Oluransi off! Schmitz on!” The coach called. “Christianson on for Taggart! Five minute test run!”

Ransom nodded, heading for the bench. He worked well with Harley, as the man had introduced himself, but he didn’t think it was the best match. The best d-man partner will be one he trusts with his life and can predict the movements of without much thought. He could fake that with Harley for sure, but it wouldn’t be a true, solid partnership. He was interested to see how Harley worked with his previous and probable future partner, Sazuki.

As Ransom was getting towards the bench, he heard the other coach, Murray he remembered, call out to him.

“Oluransi!” Murray called. “Come here and meet Birkholtz!”

Ransom nodded, showing Murray he heard while he waited to get off the ice. Once he’d hopped into the box, he headed towards Murray. He remembered Birkholtz being the other freshman defense-man. He was looking forward to meeting him, hearing that he’d been in Juniors before coming to college and having watched him work with Harley he may work as a good partner for Ransom’s playing style.

As Ransom walked he took the helmet of, wiping at the sweat on his forehead with his arm before he reached Murray and Birkholtz next to him. It was the first time Ransom was actually seeing Birkholtz and…

_“Fuck he’s hot.”_

That man may just be the most gorgeous man Ransom has ever seen. He was so broad he could make a model look small. Ransom wanted strip his pads off of him and worship the abs he no doubt had just to hold those broad shoulders up.

“They named me Holster.” The other man spoke, holding out his hand.

Ransom shook himself from his starstruck stupor and took the offered hand. “Ransom.”

“Get to know each other.” Murray told them. “You go out there next and we expect great things from your partnership.”

***

Ransom and Holster turned out to be an amazing pairing. Osprey and Hawkeye loved them, taking extra time outside of practice to help the two young d-men work on their partnership despite the seniors’ busy schedules. Halfway through hockey season the older pair began giving them homework and jobs to do, both on the ice and at the Haus. They explained dibs and that because they’d inherited the attic from the defense partnership before them, they would love to pass it on to their frogs but only if said frogs deserved it. Ransom and Holster were determined to earn it.

The worst thing Osprey and Hawkeye got them to do was dress in crop tops and miniskirts to a Kegster. Shitty yelled at them later because while “dibs work is a time-honored tradition it should not involve making fun of other genders or non-consensual hazing”. However, Ransom and Holster didn’t care at all because they’d both ended up getting laid and it was definitely worth the time they spent shaving each other’s legs.

As the year went on and they did all of this work together, Ransom really began to look forward to and dread living with Holster. The other player had quickly and easily insinuated himself into Ransom’s life as a best friend and an amazing wingman, Ransom couldn’t deny that. But Ransom couldn’t help all of the late night thoughts in his dorm, brushing his fingers over the writing on his ribs and thinking about Holster’s fingers doing the same thing. He tried to deny it all the time, every single time he watched Holster come out of the showers cloaked in steam and a towel around his waist with another around his shoulders to catch water off his hair, as well as every single time Ransom made him laugh. He loved Holster’s laugh. It lit up the room when he smiled and Ransom knew it wasn’t a healthy thought but he would give his own happiness for Holster to always have a smile.

The worst moment for Ransom, the moment he realized he was tumbling towards love instead of staying stagnant at crush, was when they were sitting in (in? on? Ransom still wasn’t sure which) the Reading Room with Osprey and Hawkeye, getting drunk and listening to the stories the older pair had of their shenanigans. The pair had so many stories they’d already shared, but has the alcohol went in and their inhibitions went down, they shared a story Ransom, and he assumed Holster, hadn’t even heard of. Osprey and Hawkeye were soulmates and they met through the team their freshmen year.

“What was that like?” Holster asked.

“Amazing.” The other two said together.

“I never understood when people said they were incomplete before the met their soulmate.” Osprey added. “But then I met this goof and I realized what they meant. It’s not like missing a limb. It’s like missing a deep part of your mind. Your soul. You don’t even know it’s missing until the hole has been filled.”

“Many holes were filled when we figured it out.” Hawkeye joked.

As soon as Osprey processed what Hawkeye said, he reached out to smack the back of his partner’s head. “Not in front of the children!”

Ransom’s head was spinning as he realized what was happening. Osprey and Hawkeye weren’t just d-men partners. They were _partners_. In life. Forever. And Ransom had spent the entire season wishing he could have that sort of connection with Holster that the older pair so obviously shared. And now that the truth was out, the fact that they were soulmates and that’s why they knew each other back and front, that did nothing to stop Ransom’s desire. In fact, it might have made it worse. Ransom wanted more than anything to be _partners_ with his partner. And he had no idea how to process that. So he rolled onto his side and vomited all his fears and worries out. That ended all soulmate talk with the upperclass d-men pair for quite some time.

***

Holster was extremely excited for his sophomore year of college. Osprey and Hawkeye had ended up giving their dibs to him and Ransom, after a lot of work to earn it, so Holster was going to get to spend the next three years living with his best friend. After all of the stories Osprey and Hawkeye had told of their years in the attic, Holster was pumped to have the chance to make their own stories. It didn’t hurt that Holster was possibly sorta kinda maybe crushing on his d-man partner and possibly sorta kinda maybe excited to see him literally all the time. Holster had no idea when this possible sorta kinda maybe crush started, but he had no doubt of when was the exact moment he realized it. It was a week before they moved in for pre-year practices.

To Ransal: _Yo dude when are you getting to the Haus_

From Ransal: _Saturday at like noon_

To Ransal: _Fucking swasome dude_

To Ransal: _You heard from anyone else?_

From Ransal: _Jacks gonna be there early this week and Shits is gettin in on Sunday after he escapes his dad_

From Ransal: _Dont ask me about Johnson i asked him and he said “when one of the plots needs me”_

To Ransal: _Hes a fucking weird dude_

From Ransal: _Damn true bro_

From Ransal: _I gotta go my mas serving dinner. And dont worry im bringing some cookies from her along. See you in a week!_

To Ransal: _fuck yes! Cant wait!_

Ransom didn’t respond to Holster’s last text and he was left staring at his last message. He was excited as all hell about Ransom’s mom’s cookies because they were some of the best shit in existence, but that wasn’t all he was excited for. He was excited to see Ransom. Not in the same way he was excited to see Jack or Shitty, but in a different way. A deeper way. He wanted to see Ransom because after being with him almost every day all year and spending the last two weeks of the semester taking care of the coral reef that Ransom became in his stress, he missed being around him. He missed Ransom’s smile, his laugh, his hugs, his inability to function after midnight, and everything else that made Ransom who he was. And when Holster realized this, he realized something even bigger. He liked Ransom. He _really_ liked Ransom. The base-line attraction he’d felt when they met had never gone away like Holster thought it had. Instead it had transformed. Holster had a crush on his d-man partner, the man he was going to be living with soon.

Now that was a terrifying thought. He and Ransom had basically lived in each other’s pockets the last year, especially the second semester working for Osprey and Hawkeye’s dibs, so this really shouldn’t be a problem. Living with Ransom shouldn’t be a problem at all. Ransom was his best friend, they loved spending time together and spent the night in each other’s dorm rooms multiple times with ease. But now Holster knows. Now he knows why Ransom’s smile can turn a bad day into a good day. Now he knows why Ransom’s health and well-being became one of the utmost important things to Holster during finals week, giving up his own sleep to make sure Ransom got his. Now he knew why after his Disater-Date-With-Basketball-Girl-That-Would-Never-Be-Spoken-Of-Again all he wanted to do was go to Ransom’s room and watch 30 Rock pressed against each other on a twin bed far too small for the both of them to logically be on at once. Ransom had become his happy place. Instead of finding his soulmate like he had hoped, he’d decided to crush on his d-man partner.

But maybe it won’t end badly, Holster tried to convince himself. Maybe Holster would be able to find his soulmate. Hopefully it would be before Ransom found his, because if Ransom found his soulmate there was no way in hell he would be happy spending so much time with Holster still and Holster would have to live with that because he had no doubt in his mind that he would give up his happiness for Ransom to have his, just like he did with sleep and food countless times before. Holster was determined that this revelation wasn’t going to change things. Holster and Ransom were still going to be HolsterandRansom and he would do everything in his power to hide all of his non-platonic feelings. He would get over it, even his strongest crushes had always faded eventually. Even with his knew knowledge, he was going to make sure this was the best time it could possibly be.

***

Ransom was going completely and utterly insane. He thought this was going to be so much easier than it is. Living with Holster in the attic of the Haus was both the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Holster was amazing. He knew exactly what Ransom needed from it even when Ransom himself couldn’t think well enough to know himself what he needed. Holster made sure he ate when he was stressed, slept when he was too stuck in work to notice the time, and get away from his work entirely when he needed a break. Tonight was one of the times Holster decided Ransom needed a break, dragging him down to the Kegster Shitty was putting on and shoving a cup of tub juice into his hand. Before Ransom knew it, he was two cups in and cheering for Bitty as the frog did his first kegstand, downing his third drink with ease in brotherhood with the kid as he finished. Ransom blinked and he was dancing with Bitty, then Holster, then a girl he didn’t know, then a girl he did know from the soccer team, and then Bitty again. He lost track of the amount of alcohol he’d had around his fifth cup of tub juice but he felt good and that was all that mattered.

Bitty pulled away to deal with something, Ransom couldn’t understand what he’d said, and Ransom was left alone again. Not for long though as Holster appeared at his side.

“Hey dude!” Holster grinned, obviously also drunk. “How you doing?”

“I am floating on freedom.” Ransom grinned back, raising his cup again and going to drink only to find it empty.

Holster saw his frown and frowned as well. “How much have you had dude?”

Ransom shrugged. “Enough.”

“Alright it’s time for bed then.” Holster decided, taking Ransom’s arm. The goal of the night had been for Ransom to relax and maybe find a hook-up, not for Ransom to get wasted and destroy his liver with god only knows how much tub juice.

Ransom whined, flailing his one free arm around. “I’m having fun!”

“And you’re going to die in the morning if you keep drinking.” Holster frowned, grabbing the flailing arm to tug Ransom towards the stairs. “Time for bed.”

Ransom kept whining but let himself be pulled towards the stairs. Holster caught Jack’s eye on the way, their captain had come down to start shutting the party down, and gestured towards Ransom’s wasted form.

Jack nodded, face serious, and went to find the stereo to get everything shut down.

Holster left Jack to it, continuing his job of getting Ransom safely up all of the stairs to their attic room. Due to Ransom’s inebriation, it was quite the struggle but they finally made it.

“I highly doubt you’re gonna get yourself changed, eh?” Holster asked Ransom.

Ransom giggled instead of answering. “Eh.”

Holster sighed. It had slipped into his voice ever since he started living with Ransom and the Canadian found it absolutely hilarious even when he wasn’t wasted. “Well don’t vomit on yourself or me then.”

Holster let Ransom carefully down onto the bottom bunk, Holster’s bed officially, and went to find Ransom some sleep clothes. He grabbed sweat pants and a tank top out of Ransom’s drawers and went back to the bed to find his roommate laying on his back giggling up at the underside of the top bunk.

Holster rolled his eyes. “You’re going to feel like death in the morning.”

Ransom kept giggling, ignoring Holster as he took Ransom’s shoes and socks off before reaching for Ransom’s belt. Holster concentrated only on his actions, not the fact that he was undressing his crush. He had seen Ransom naked before, no one on the team was all that shy showering together after practices and games, but it was never up close like this and he had never been the one taking Ransom’s clothes off. He started doing economics problems in his head to keep his body’s reactions under control as it started to take interest in the proceedings. Ransom was wasted, completely unable to consent to anything, and even if he wasn’t Ransom had no interest in Holster. Ransom was his best friend, he wasn’t going to let his attraction to him or his feelings get in the way of that.

Holster finished getting Ransom’s jeans off and the sweat pants on while he kept telling himself that he was fine and this was fine. Now he just had to get Ransom out of the uncomfortably tight looking polo and into the sleep shirt and then he could get himself ready for bed and go to sleep. Everything would be fine in the morning.

“Rans you gotta sit up.” Holster told him, tugging his arms. “Sit up.”

Ransom groaned but let himself be pulled up. “Holster!” He exclaimed, like he forgot Holster was there and was happy to see him.

“It’s me.” Holster smiled fondly, helping him get settled before he let go of his shoulders and moved his attention to undoing the buttons at Ransom’s collar.

“You’re so good.” Ransom grinned up at him. “Such a good bro.”

“I’m glad you think so.” Holster told him. “Can you lift your arms up so I can get this damn shirt off without you falling over?”

Ransom’s arms shot up, almost hitting Holster on the way up.

Holster startled but laughed and reached to Ransom’s hem to get his shirt off. He had to stop thinking about this being Ransom again or he was literally going to explode. Holster took a deep breath, thinking of his grandmother to keep his body’s reaction under control as he peeled the tight shirt off of Ransom’s body. By the time it was off Holster was flushed and determined to get this done as fast as possible and then never think of it again except maybe tomorrow morning during his shower before he deletes it forever from his memory. He shouldn’t even be the one doing this. He should’ve asked Jack to deal with Ransom. Jack wouldn’t be fighting off a boner while helping his completely trashed teammate get ready for bed.

“Holster.” Ransom drawled, smiling at him. “Holsteeerrrr.”

“Yea Ransom?” Holster choked out.

“You’re such a good bro.”

Holster snorted. “So you said.”

“Iz a fact.” Ransom slurred. “Such a bro.”

Holster didn’t know how to answer but Ransom kept going anyways.

“M’so lucky I got to be your partner.” Ransom told him. “You’re like a god on ice.”

“I’m not any better than Jack.” Holster protested, picking up the tank top to figure out how to get it on Ransom.

“Jack’s a forward.” Ransom argued. “You’re my defenseman. Different gods but both gods. Both good. You’re my bro tho so I love you more.”

Holster’s heart clenched as it always did when Ransom told him he loved him. Knowing Ransom didn’t mean it the way Holster sometimes wished he would. “Love you too bro.” Holster managed to whisper.

Ransom shook his head. “Nu uh.” Ransom told him. “Not like I do. I’m your bro. You’re-you’re _more_. So much more.”

Holster was just sitting there, staring at him as Ransom frowned and tears pooled in his eyes.

“I shouldn’t love him as much as I do.” Ransom whispered. “Too much. Too hard. You can’t tell him!” He suddenly shouted grabbing Holster’s arm in a vice grip, making Holster jumped.

“Can’t tell who?” Holster found himself asking.

“You can’t tell Holster.” Ransom said, very seriously. “You can’t tell Holster I love him. He’s my best friend and I love him and I can’t lose him. I-I can’t lose him.” Ransom kept repeating that as he fell over and curled into Holster’s pillow. He kept Holster’s wrist in his grip as he did so, pulling the other man with him.

Holster watched all of this happen in absolute amazement, stumbling forward as Ransom pulled his wrist. He tried to pull away as Ransom seemed to succumb to sleep but he was still being held in a vice-like grip that didn’t seem to be relaxing anytime soon. Holster sighed, letting Ransom keep hold of one of his hands as he unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off his shoulders and then pushed his jeans off one-handed as well. They hadn’t cleaned their room in a while, so Holster was able to hook some dirty sweat pants off the floor with his foot, somehow managing to twist into them. By the time he finished he was slightly sweating and panting with the effort and Ransom was still holding on to him. There was nothing for Holster to do but lay down next to Ransom trying to put as much space between them as possible in the too small bed.

Ransom immediately blew that away, shifting to lay his head on Holster’s chest and holding Holster’s hand under his face.

Holster’s breath hitched, not knowing how to handle this. His body was completely tense, unable to relax with so much of Ransom against him after all the things Ransom had just said. Ransom loved him? Holster had known that, they told each other that all the time, but this time felt different to Holster. Ransom had obviously stopped recognizing him as Holster and told him this and then told him not to tell Holster because he didn’t want to lose their friendship. Ransom cried at the thought of losing him. Ransom called him “so much more” than a bro. Holster’s mind kept spinning around and around in circles, unable to stop thinking about it as he slowly fell asleep.

***

When Ransom woke up in the morning it felt like he had been hit by a truck and then had sandpaper shoved down his throat before his mouth was filled with actual sand. His mouth was fuzzy, his head hurt like hell, and the whole world felt like he was swaying. It took him a long moment to realize that the last sensation was because his head was resting on a solid chest that kept rising and falling as the person it belonged to was breathing. He relaxed for a moment, deciding it was cool, before tensing up again and panicking because _who the hell was he laying on?_

Ransom forced his eyes open to see who he was with, his heart stopping for a long moment as he recognized the jawline and profile and hair and smell and _holy shit he was laying on Holster._ His mind was spinning, body unable to move as he stared in shock and tried to comprehend what had happened last night. He remembered the party. Remembered drinking what was probably too much tub juice. Remembered Holster finding him. Remembered Holster helping him up the stairs and helping him get changed. Remembered-remembered- _holy shit he told Holster he loved him and then told Holster not to tell Holster that he loved him but wouldn’t let go of his arm and now Holster is asleep under him because Ransom wouldn’t let him leave the bed and forced him to sleep here_.

Ransom wanted to die, his face flushing at the memory. Holster was probably going to be so uncomfortable today. Ransom had confessed his love for his d-man partner and then basically forced the other man to share a bed with him. Ransom’s mind kept spinning, he could feel his heart speeding up and his breathing catching in his throat as a panic attack started.

Before he could lose himself though, his mind caught on a detail he had never noticed before. The ink rolling across the skin underneath Holster’s collarbone. Ransom’s instant curiousity got the better of him as he pushed himself up onto his elbow to read it. _“Fuck he’s hot.”_ Ransom held back a quiet snort. He remembered that being his first thought when he met Holster too. Holster was just so good looking, he got all the attention the moment he saw him.

Ransom’s brain caught up with itself a moment after that thought finished. That was his first thought when he met Holster. His first thought. _His **first** thought_.

“Holy shit!” Ransom exclaimed, pulling backwards and tumbling off the side of the bed with a bang.

Holster was immediately awake, sitting up with a snap and his own shout of exclamation.

“Ransom what the hell?” Holster shouted, once he realized the bang was Ransom falling off the bed.

“You-you-you-” Ransom stuttered.

“Me what?” Holster frowned, pushing forward to slide off the bed to kneel in front of Ransom. “Rans what’s wrong?”

Ransom kept panting, his earlier almost panic attack coming back towards surface as he kept running his thoughts through his head.

“Ransom what’s wrong?” Holster asked again, looking worried. “Is it about what you said last night? About loving me? If it is you don’t have to worry. It’s okay. I’m not going to leave you or whatever you’re worried about.”

“ _Your mark_.” Ransom managed to hiss.

Holster was now even more concerned, hand going to touch his mark. “My mark?”

“My-my- _mine_.” Ransom gasped.

“What?” Holster asked. “Your mark?”

Ransom shook his head. “My thought.” He whispered. “ _My thought_.”

Holster’s eyes widened as he slowly realized what Ransom was trying to say. “This was your first thought when you met me?”

Ransom nodded.

“Exactly your first thought?”

Ransom nodded again.

“So you think-?”

Ransom nodded a third time.

“Holy shit.” Holster gasped, staring at Ransom.

Ransom kept gasping, heading straight for panic now, taking Holster’s shock as horror. “I-I-I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Holster repeated. “What are you sorry for?”

“Being stupid.” Ransom told him. “You don’t-you can’t-you-”

“Me?” Holster asked. “Ransom I don’t what? Don’t love you? That’s a lie. I’ve loved you since last year. Can’t be your soulmate? I’d be honored to be your soulmate. Me? I’m shocked and amazed and so confused right now but I am not upset.”

Ransom kept panting, hearing Holster’s words but unable to comprehend them.

Holster bit his lip, not knowing what to do to help. After a second of thought he slowly reached out and lifted Ransom’s chin to look at him. “Ransom. _Justin_. Look at me.”

Ransom forced his eyes to focus on the man before him.

Holster smiled. “Last night you told me you loved me and then told me not to tell myself and I laid in bed for an hour trying to figure out how to feel. I’ve wanted you to love me they way I love you for _months_. It’s hurt every time you told me you loved me because I thought you didn’t mean it the way I did but if that’s not true, if you love me like I love you, then I really need to hug you right now. Please?”

Ransom stared at him for a second before launching himself forward and wrapping his arms around Holster’s form. He let out his shuddering breaths into Holster’s neck as Holster’s arms wrapped around him as a solid and settling pressure helping Ransom pull himself back together and control his breathing.

They sat there for a long moment before Ransom pulled away and looked at Holster. “You’re- you’re my soulmate?”

“I would honored to be yours.” Holster told him, being completely honest.

“So you-you thought I was hot when you saw me?”

“Is that what it is?” Holster asked, glancing down to where Ransom’s hand had come up to brush across the skin stretched over his ribs.

Ransom nodded, moving his hand so Holster could read the words. _Fuck he’s hot._

Holster laughed. “We shared a first thought.”

Ransom nodded, smiling softly. “Apparently.”

“That’s gotta be rare.” Holster said.

Ransom shrugged, slowly reaching up to hover his fingers over Holster’s words. “I can’t believe this.” He whispered.

Holster smiled. “Yea. I know the feeling.”

“I-I need to brush my teeth and get the tub juice fuzz off of my teeth and then I really need to kiss you.”

Holster laughed. “God I like the sound of that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


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